As vengeance, threats of violence, and vilification continue to take over the airwaves – and increasingly get deployed on many of our city streets – there is an ever more urgent need to expand the concept of love. Not only to expand it, but empower love to wade into the growing wave of authoritarianism that is both undermining democracy and stoking the flames of fear, injustice, and distrust.
Our culture is massively devoted to promoting two of the three Greek philosophical dimensions of love: romantic and sensual love (eros), and love of family (philo), partly because they pull on everyone’s heartstrings and at the same time can be enormously profitable. They are both important, but they often crowd out the third Greek word for love, agape. Agape represents a selfless and unconditional love. It transcends personal gain and centers on a profound concern for the well-being of others. Given the turmoil that is felt across the country, and which is being stoked by daily vitriol, and which often includes overt expressions of hate, we need vast doses and demonstrations of agape love.
Martin Luther King was both a disciple and prophet of agape. In his 1963 book, Strength to Love, he wrote, “darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.” Like Jesus and many others after him, King gave his life to this fierce commitment to agape love, which he described as the beloved community. For King, love was not so much about the love we receive, but the love we do. The love we give. It has a power all its own; a power to drive out hate.
In our vindictive national climate, which, if it continues with even more aggressiveness, has the capacity to reshape and disfigure our culture, love is a political act. And a necessary one. Agape love is, yes, about compassion and empathy, but it is not passive. It does not mean we bow to hate, nor does it mean that we hate in return. It means we stand up to hate and cruelty – with love.
Which sometimes feels nearly possible to do. I well remember a rather benign incident that happened early on in my ministry, which challenged me to expand and embrace the concept of love. While serving a church in New Jersey, I took the youth group on a river rafting trip on the Lehigh River in eastern Pennsylvania. The outfitters had us get in a bus that would take us 30 minutes upriver to where we would board the rafts. Our group sat near the back of the bus. At the very back was a group of guys in their twenties, who were out to have a good time. They had been drinking before getting on the bus, and they brought a couple of sixpacks onto the bus.They were rude and crude.They threw their empties out the window. When the beer ran out they started ogling the teen girls in our group. I was going to say something, but it was one of those situations in which any comment I made would give them justification for tossing me out the back of the bus.So I sat and stewed silently in my anger. A passage from scripture came into my head: “love on another as I have loved you.” (John 13:34-35). I pushed it out of my mind. It came back. “Love one another as I have loved you.” Sure, I thought, but not these guys. Oh yes, these guys, the message came back. And I stewed some more, not sure if I was angrier at the jerks behind me or at the passage from scripture. It is one thing to embrace the concept of love, which I was willing to do; it is something else to actually live it out.
Most of us have a similar story, many with much more dangerous, if not violent, consequences. We can feel trapped by cruelty, vengeance, and violence. It arouses anger – and fear. In the midst of it all we are called to love one another. It is hard work. At times it seems impossible. In these tumultuous times, love is an important weapon. It was on full display this past weekend when an estimated 8.2 million people in 2,000 different gatherings across the country demonstrated on ‘No Kings Day’. They were almost uniformly peaceful. People wore lighthearted costumes. There was anger, to be sure, but the lightness is what carried the day. As is always the case, there were smatterings of jerks acting out their anger in unhelpful ways, but the predominant commitment was love of country, and appreciation, if not love, for one another.
Embrace love. Share it. These days it is a political act. Sharing love can help set us free. All of us.
