Building Trust Through Gratitude

“We move at the speed of trust.” So said my friend and colleague Shaykh Ibad Wali who is the Senior Muslim Advisor for the One America Movement. He and other national leaders from faith250 and Braver Faith (a department of Braver Angels) are working together to design programs and opportunities for hope and healing as America approaches the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence on July 4.

Moving at the speed of trust has become a guiding metaphor for me. Moving at the speed of trust requires a commitment to listen deeply, to continually discern how to find common purpose and shared meaning through many historical, scriptural, linguistic and theological differences, and to adjust expectations while seeking to come up with a shared agenda and goals.To honor one another. It is holy work.

Which is harder to engage in these days primarily because our national mouthpiece, President Trump, is on a daily (if not hourly) campaign to breed mistrust – by demeaning, dismissing, denying someone or some group. His growing litany of lies, his ferocious self-promotion, his disregard of legal constraints, his ignorance and/or denial of the bedrock principles of the Constitution, have created a punishing climate of distrust. Many people I talk to find themselves on the precipice of despair as trust feels more and more fragile. 

While spending much of the last two weeks watching the Winter Olympics, as so many of us did, which is a quadrennial showcase of commitment, courage and skill, I often wondered if and when the President would chime in and trash an athlete for losing or underperforming, or not honoring America in the way he expects. I realize that I have unwittingly created a psychic space where I receive the president’s endless slurs and putdowns, which has become an internal gland of distrust. I don’t want that space there, but there it is. I am not alone. Narcissists, especially those who have a global reach, rejoice in the psychic space that has been given over to them. It is a pernicious form of power.

Much as I have tried, wishing away this unwanted psychic space reserved for mistrust, flushing or cutting it out, doesn’t work. Engaging in acts of resistance, exposing the lies, correcting the misinformation, standing up for those who are under the metaphorical and literal gun is important and necessary.

Yet, what I have found to be most helpful in dealing with the daily fusillade which damages, if not destroys trust, is the act of repentance. That’s right, repentance. Repentance involves turning.  Like many of us, I was taught that repentance is turning away from things that we shouldn’t do or say. To atone for the wrongs we have done. To express regret. But I am now claiming a different  interpretation of repentance. Instead of first turning away, which has been the operative understanding for centuries, to first turn toward something. Turn toward hope, love, mercy, peace. All of which build trust. 

Much of the Christian world is at the beginning of Lent, a forty-day season of preparation for Easter. Repentance is a key component of Lenten practice, which usually involves giving up something that gets in the way of spiritual health. This year my Lenten discipline is to engage more intentionally in the practice of gratitude. Gratitude opens us up to hope, love, mercy, peace. Gratitude is an act of repentance, a turning which helps to read our lives as gifts, and to encourage and lift up the giftedness of others. I am discovering that gratitude is a kind of remedy, a spiritual medication, that can shrink the size of the gland of mistrust, and even make it disappear.

It so happens that Lent and Ramadan overlap this year, a calendar coincidence that occurs about every thirty years or so. This year these two sacred seasons began on the same day, February 18, a chronological phenomenon that happens about once every ninety years.  Braver Faith honored this convergence with a 30-minute gathering on Ash Wednesday, during which portions of the New Testament and Qur’an were read, reflections on Lent and Ramadan were presented, and periods of silence were offered.  A video recording of that event can be found here. https://youtu.be/_l-JU1ptF48?si=p3OObt_0APSMe6FL

Also honoring the confluence of Lent and Ramadan are the daily reflections from my partner, the Rev. Jamie Hamilton.  She is providing space for reflection, rest, and gratitude.  And a commitment to build trust.  They may be found here. http://niche-lightuponlight.org/

May we all endeavor to move at the speed of trust.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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